2005-05-01, 10:53 PM
Just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married.
I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--- Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
--- Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--- Rodney Dangerfield
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--- Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--- George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--- Sharon Stone
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--- Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never
forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--- Barbara Bush (Former First Lady with a great sense of humor)
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--- Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course,
men are just grateful."
--- Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men
are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--- Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I
know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--- Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
like and give her a house."
--- Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time."
--- Robin Williams
"All I really want to find is a tall, thin, flat chested, brilliant, multi-
orgasmic woman who isn't to psychotic and knows the BSD kernel!"
--- Steven Walker